Lincoln vs Kennedy

Excellent History...Must read

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird....................

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named
Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat ! ....................

Lincoln was shot at the theatre named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":....................

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Lincoln was shot in a theatre and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theatre.

Creepy, huh? Send this to as many people as you can, because: Hey,

this is one history lesson people don't mind reading!!!

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Men Are Just Happier People?

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a whiteT-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.
People never stare atyour chest when you're talking to them.
One mood all the time.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

No wonder men are happier .

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Mariage Jokes

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
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its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..
and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
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It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle
Million soldiers 2 protect a country
BUT Just ONE woman 2 make a Happy HOME!
Let's Thank God......
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What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
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It's funny when people discuss about LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED MARRIAGE.
It's like asking someone, if it is better to commit suicide or being murdered ***************************************

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

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Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
...........................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
.................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
............................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak. ...............................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

..........................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

...............................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

..........................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

...........................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

...........................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

...............................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

...............................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

..............................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

...............................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

.............................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

.................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

That's All For Now......GET BACK TO YOUR WORK!

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Pantun Perli Sayang

Pakai tudung tapi bertelanjang
Itulah gaya orang sekarang
Mana tidaknya, ukuran body semua terang-terang
Yang mana kendur yang mana tegang

Baju nipis nampak bayang
Peha gebu saja ditayang
Lebih baik tak pakai baju senang
Dah tentu boleh tunjuk terang-terang
Baju ketat seluar sendat
Pakai tudung just ikat-ikat
Dari mula memang bukan adat
Disudut agama pun gaya tak berkat

Tudung jarang baju nipis
Pakai sikit boleh nampak 'garis'
Mata orang terbeliak, kita membengis
Bila kena kutuk, kenapa menangis

Lengan pendek blaus gantung
Jeans ketat melekat dipunggung
Jadi orang Islam ni sebenarnya beruntung
Agama tak suruh berbungkus macam pocong

Apa rasanya, kepala bertudung, kain terbelah
Kalau takat rambut orang kurang ghairah
Lain kalau peha gebu atau ternampak lurah
Mata yang memandang boleh keluar darah

Kebaya ketat, kain terbelah
Ikat tudung macam tak sudah
Nak ikut suruhan agama memang tak mudah
Tapi Islam sebenarnya indah

Tutup aurat bukan suruh berselubung
Sampai tak nampak muka dan hidung
Yang faham tuntutan amat beruntung
Taklah bersungut mulut pun muncung

Dah kalau mula minat nak bertudung
Cubalah sesuaikan apa yang disarung
Kalau masih rasa jiwa tu 'mendung'
Maknanya nafsu tu belum dapat dibendung

Bertudung itu bukan satu paksaan
Ianya lebih kepada keinsafan
Selalunya nafsu masih dikuasai syaitan
Itu la pasal fesyen pun yang bukan-bukan

Asal menutup aurat itu tuntutan
Kalau dianggap susah, tu sebab bosan
Yang ye nya hati tak berkenan
Tu yang berjela-jela mencipta alasan

Menutup aurat satu syariat
Kepada agama kita taat
Hidup berkat pahala berlipat-lipat
Didunia selamat, di akhirat hebat

Dalam tiap perbuatan, kita mulakan dengan niat
Gitu juga bertudung, janganlah konon nak tunjuk taat
Alamat pahala lebur, dosa bertingkat-tingkat
Mentelah pula berfesyen tak kena tempat

Baik tak bertudung kalau hanya nak rosak imej
Walhal Islam suruh pakai yang sopan dan manis
Dah kalau takat pakaian ngalahkan pengemis
Atas tutup, bawah buka, ni apa punya jenis?

Kita memang hidup dalam era serba maju
Sungguhlah iman tak dinilai just ikut baju
Kalau bertudung tapi pakai yang 'gitu-gitu'
Kita pun susah kenal, manusia ke hantu

Banyak salah faham bila mula bertudung
Maknanya no fesyen-fesyen only the baju kurung
No more pant suit, kebaya or kebarung
Dah kalau gitu lebih baik duduk berkurung

Bertudung bergaya biarlah yang sempurna
Tak jadi bahan kutuk, jangan pula menambah dosa
Pun tak usahlah juga terlebih gaya
Islam itu suka yang sederhana

Kenalah pula kita wanita bekerjaya
Fesyen busana muslimah yang paling kena
Kalau rasa nak letak kaler, tu yang paling asas je
Sebab agama sendiri menggalakan kita selesa

Mana tidaknya, bila bekerja kita bergaul semua
Kalau sendiri memandang muka pun layu je
Orang dok mengata, kita pun rasa terhina
Dah kalau 'put color' jangan macam 'rainbow' pula

Siapa kata kita tak boleh berwarna
Tak caya cuba tengok semua pendakwah-pendakwah kita
Ustazah-ustazah mereka tetap juga bubuh kaler
Taklah sampai mengancam, cuma biar nampak 'bernyawa'

Tu sebab kita buat kerja semua dengan niat
Jadi terserah budi bicara tuan punya jasad
Dah kononnya bertudung tapi hati masih jahat
Baik tak le payah berpura nak tutup aurat

Kalau dah memang rasa nak berubah
Peduli kata orang bukan dia yang susah payah
Asal niat, matlamat dan cara kita istiqamah
Lantak mereka lah kalau nak tergigit lidah

Bersamalah kita mengkaji semula
Pakaian kita yang bagaimana gayanya
Andai belum betul-betul bersedia
Janganlah kita mencemar kesuciannya

Andai terasa hidayah menyinggah
Lakukan yang betul mengikut sunnah
Menutup aurat jangan sekali dirasa payah
Mengapa diperleceh, itukan perintah

Andai dihati redha dan ikhlas
Diwajah Nur terpancar jelas
Walaupun bergaya tak berapa 'kelas'
Asal Tuhan tahu, diakhirat pengorbanan terbalas

Harap maaflah kalau terlalu panjang
Bukan sengaja mereka yang bukan-bukan
Berpantun seloka bukan setakat hiburan
Yang mana betul jadikan pedoman

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Boys n Gals

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No way
Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?
Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boyruns after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is becauseyou're always on my mind. The reason why I don'tlike you is because I love you. The reason I don'twant you is because I need you. The reason Iwouldn't cry if you left is because I would die ifyou left. The reason I wouldn't live for you isbecause I would die for you. The reason why I'mnot willing to do anything for you is because Iwould do everything for you. The reason I chose mylife is because you ARE my life.

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Lirik : Nilai Cintamu...

Lagu : Nilai Cintamu
Penyanyi : Sudirman

Pernah dulu ku fikirkan
Tanpa cinta tak mengapa
Bila kau pergi ku rasakan
Sunyinya dihati
Baru kini ku tahu
Nilai cintamu

Ku renungi gambarmu
Ku baca surat surat mu
Namun pedihnya ku terasa
Tanpa kau bersama
Ku harap dikau pun
Begitu jua

Kini aku mengerti
Hanya engkau pelita hati
Semua yang kau korbankan
Hanyalah untukku
Akan tetapku kenang
Kasihmu terhadap diriku
Janji untuk bersama
Sehidup dan semati

Pernah dulu ku fikirkan
Tanpa cinta tak mengapa
Bila kau pergi ku rasakan
Sunyinya dihati
Baru kini ku tahu
Nilai cintamu

Ku renungi gambarmu
Ku baca surat surat mu
Namun pedihnya ku terasa
Tanpa kau bersama
Ku harap dikau pun
Begitu jua

Andainya kau kembali
Kan ku curahkan rasa hati
Akan aku buktikan
Cintaku yang suci Berikan ku harapan
Untuk bersamamu semula
Akan aku buktikan
Nilai cintaku...

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BM vs BI

Subject: Why English?
Why Dr. Mahathir insisted on using English for math and science. This is because the whole world uses the language as information and/ortechnologylanguage. How dangerous it would be if we're trying to use Bahasa,especially in school. See example below.
> >> hardware = barangkeras
> >> software = baranglembut
> >> joystick = batang gembira
> >> plug and play = cucuk dan main
> >> port = lubang
> >> server = pelayan
> >> client = pelanggan
Try to translate this:
ENGLISH :
That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using eitherhardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client.

Now in BAHASA :
Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main denganmenggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira itu dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

Now You Know.......

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